"Pardon me sir, but you'll have to put up your tray table and stow your bomb under the seat in front you."

The last two airline incidents show that what we are doing for aviation safety and security isn't working. The flight that skidded off the runway in Jamaica appears to show a problem with carry-on luggage. People now cram the overhead compartments with whatever they cannot fit into their one checked bag. Those items may shift during flight - but they become dangerous projectiles in a crash, and obstruct the aisle during evacuation. How about another (oh boy) TSA screening test. If your bag fails the "size test" at the X-ray machine (i.e. it cannot fit through an appropriately sized hole on the conveyor belt), they send you back to the ticketing counter to check your bag. (-Come to think of it, maybe this should apply to some of the over-sized passengers as well).. And bring back the two free bag rule.
The second alarming incident just happened in Detroit. How is it that a young man from NIGERIA, TRAVELLING ALONE, named ABDULMUTALLAB, with a ONE WAY TICKET, and NO LUGGAGE, and apparently on a TERROR WATCH LIST, can board an INTERNATIONAL FLIGHT, with explosives strapped onto himself? Hmmm? Sure makes me feel good that I can't pack my toothpaste in my overstuffed carry-on bag. I'm so glad that I have to hobble through security trying to get my 5 and 2 year old childrens' shoes on while the TSA makes me partially strip and search me while rifling through my child's Barbie backpack. I am singled out for screening half the time I fly - must be my suspiciously Christian sounding name, freckly white skin, blue eyes, and my midwestern accent. Maybe I should be directing my ire at the Dutch security screeners. Maybe.
Or maybe Al Quaeda should just sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight. If they can't ignite their bomb, a U.S. American will probably be decapitated by their own luggage during landing anyway.

Princess is dead - long live Aurora

Part of the problem with chickens is that they aren't the best survivors. They have been domesticated for farm production - and have lost some of their game fowl instincts. Thus we mark the untimely passing of "Princess", one of our four hens. She was taken from us by a local hawk. The kids don't know yet. Not so opportune around X-mas time. This means construction of a large chicken run for the remaining hens: Aurora, Sparkles, and Rainbow. Princess seemed to be the dominant chicken, and my suspicion is that "she" may have actually been a "he". Our neighbors ended up with a rooster among their hens - and I think that Princess may have been mis-sexed. Anyhow she/he will be missed.

Cedar Season

Dang! Well, here it is - cedar season. For those who don't live in Central Texas, cedar season is that time of year when the male mountain cedar trees (juniperus ashei) emit their pollen. It is famous for causing extreme allergic reactions - called "cedar fever". For some reason - not precisely known - it affects some people, and others are completely unaffected. The unaffected ones can't understand why the affected ones are whining so much about this invisible force.
Mountain cedars are the heaviest pollinators in the world - which helps explain the amazing success of this species. The trees are literally " smokin' ". Big smoky red clouds puff off the trees with every gust of wind. Under the microscope, the pollen particle resembles an old WWII naval mine. Kind of feels like one when it hits your nose.
I have known a few people who have moved out of Texas because of cedar fever. It is the one thing that even die hard Austin-o-philes will complain about. Some people make it a few years before developing the allergy - and some (like my beautiful wife) - totally lose the allergy, or never get it.
Some sufferers have dreams about burning all the cedars in Texas. But this would be a monumental task and an ecological disaster. The trees are here because of their great ability to propagate. They are kind of like the porn star of trees.

Uclog a Drain

Happy Holidays!! Tis the season for parties and family get-togethers. So what are you going to do about the drain in your bathroom that is slower than molasses? You don't want company to see that do you?
Don't worry, I'm not here to judge - just to help. So, as an aside to my rather meandering writings, here is how to clear/clean / unclog a drain in 5 minutes.


This is what a typical drain looks like under the sink.























First, put a bowl under that U-shaped bend of pipe (it's called a P-trap). All the yucky water will drip into this.

Next, unscrew the two nuts that hold the U-shaped piece onto the pipes.






















Pour the water and gunk out of the U-shaped piece and clean it out. Sometimes I find earings, small toys, etc. in this piece - so check the water as you pour it out.
























Next, find the drain lever. It is the rod sticking horizontally out of the drain pipe.
























There is a nut holding the lever onto the pipe. Untighten it and carefully pull the rod out.
























Next, remove the drain stopper from the sink.

























Mmmmmm. Now isn't that appetizing?
Hold your nose and clean that ick off.


























Replace the items in reverse order.
Now the water should flow out of your sink.
Your house guests will appreciate it.

Uchi vs. El Pollo Regio

We just went to dinner at Uchi in Austin a couple of nights ago. It was wonderful. We were able to go courtesy of Cheech's dad. Uchi reminds me of some of the places I used to go to in Los Angeles. The clientele is clad mostly in black. They are almost entirely not native to Austin. We were even snubbed by the valets. Architecturally, it has the nouveau Asian fusion decor that the name connotes - tasteful within the confines of a rehabbed South Austin structure.
The menu includes sushi, sashimi, some other Asian inspired dishes, and also things that seem to have no Oriental influence. We had some sake, tempura brie with apple, stuffed mussels, a hot river rock (on which one sears thin slices of beef), and a couple of items of sushi. A delightful evening that cost about $140 (minus the gift certificate from Cheech's dad). Good thing we weren't hungry - I don't think all that we ate would satisfy even a waif supermodel. Artisan food.

Yesterday our friends from Panama visited us with their two young sons. We decided to run out to El Pollo Regio to get some dinner to take home for all eight of us. Three orders of food (normally we only get one for the four of us). Carne Asada and chicken with tortillas, with beans, rice, pico de gallo, big grilled cebollas, etc. Very tasty ....$23. .... We didn't finish it all last night. I reheated it today for lunch - still not finished.
So as a juxtaposition:

Uchi -
snobby valets
wonderful gay waiter
beautiful decor
excellent wine, sake, drink menu
artistic food that weighs just slightly under 3 ounces
a divine dining experience
stratospheric prices
you feel like an elite - a "somebody"

El Pollo Regio -
parking - if you can wedge yourself between the beat up Pickup and the Chevy Lumina.
no waiter - just a window to order from (it helps to speak Spanish)
decor? well, they are re-stuccoing the exterior.
if you want a beverage, you can go next door to the Quickie-Mart
lots of grilled skirt steak and chicken served lovingly in Styrofoam containers
just get yer grub and leave
so cheap - you feel like it's subsidized by Oxfam
you feel a certain camaraderie with the day laborer next to you

Newest Painting

Channel your Inner Tube

Christmas is right around the corner - and what says "Christmas" more than innertubing? It's supposed to snow tomorrow. That's right - snow in Central Texas! So, while floating down a river in an innertube is probably not on most peoples minds, Christmas gifts are. Check out this great idea:
For the person who has everything. It's a pretty darn good invention. Besides, a friend of mine makes them. Although I don't make money off of it, I hope he does. http://www.tubeparrot.com/ While I'm at it, feel free to click on one of the ads on the right of this page (maybe I'll make 8 or 9 cents).
So, buy a few "Tube Parrots" for your friends. If my friend gets enough volume, I may be able to talk him into monogramming them. Imagine... having your name on your own personal beverage holder. I know that he has painted them burnt orange for UT fans.