Saturday, December 26, 2009

"Pardon me sir, but you'll have to put up your tray table and stow your bomb under the seat in front you."

The last two airline incidents show that what we are doing for aviation safety and security isn't working. The flight that skidded off the runway in Jamaica appears to show a problem with carry-on luggage. People now cram the overhead compartments with whatever they cannot fit into their one checked bag. Those items may shift during flight - but they become dangerous projectiles in a crash, and obstruct the aisle during evacuation. How about another (oh boy) TSA screening test. If your bag fails the "size test" at the X-ray machine (i.e. it cannot fit through an appropriately sized hole on the conveyor belt), they send you back to the ticketing counter to check your bag. (-Come to think of it, maybe this should apply to some of the over-sized passengers as well).. And bring back the two free bag rule.
The second alarming incident just happened in Detroit. How is it that a young man from NIGERIA, TRAVELLING ALONE, named ABDULMUTALLAB, with a ONE WAY TICKET, and NO LUGGAGE, and apparently on a TERROR WATCH LIST, can board an INTERNATIONAL FLIGHT, with explosives strapped onto himself? Hmmm? Sure makes me feel good that I can't pack my toothpaste in my overstuffed carry-on bag. I'm so glad that I have to hobble through security trying to get my 5 and 2 year old childrens' shoes on while the TSA makes me partially strip and search me while rifling through my child's Barbie backpack. I am singled out for screening half the time I fly - must be my suspiciously Christian sounding name, freckly white skin, blue eyes, and my midwestern accent. Maybe I should be directing my ire at the Dutch security screeners. Maybe.
Or maybe Al Quaeda should just sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight. If they can't ignite their bomb, a U.S. American will probably be decapitated by their own luggage during landing anyway.

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